Well, little by little I inch closer to my goal. I've been doing a lot of work over the holidays tightening up the text and ironing out inconsistencies. To my horror I discovered that I'd got my time-line wrong and Celia was taking Jeremy to the Oktoberfest when it would be closed.
I've also being researching e-publishing and other such topics which I will have to get my head around soon. But the most alarming part of my research was when I realised that I'm about 20,000 words outside the standard length for this kind of novel which is ca 80,000 words!
Agh!
I need to think hard about this. Do I add in more content, or do I just decide it should be a short novel?
Some thinking necessary. Any thoughts from you welcome.
My name is James Schofield. I'm starting work on a novel and I want to use this blog to swop ideas with people about writing fiction. I will describe what I am doing and I hope that you will be interested in discussing it with me. I write in English, but you can use the Google translator to help if anything is unclear and you can submit comments in whatever language you prefer.
Dec 30, 2015
Nov 8, 2015
Chapter 37 - The Hunt
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Beer wagon, Oktoberfest |
The story so far ... Jeremy Fisk has proved to be the keystone to the UN embargo breaking carried out by British companies during the war in Croatia. He has stolen all the evidence collected by Celia and Franz and left Celia to be killed by his accomplice, Morpheus Herman, who will make it look like a suicide.
Celia manages to take advantage of a distraction to escape from the store room at the Oktoberfest where she is being kept, but in her semi-drugged condition, will she be able to flee from Morpheus?
Chapter 37 – The hunt
“Nothing!” said Max to his father when they met at the
agreed time in front of one of the fairground
rides. They’d split up when they arrived at the Oktoberfest and searched the main
tents separately, looking for Celia.
“And she hasn’t gone back home either. I just phoned
Tante Ilse and Arnold,” said Franz. “Let’s
try the Oide Wiesn section next. Where is it exactly?”
“Under the Big Wheel. Come to think of it, it wouldn’t
be a bad place to meet somebody, it’s quieter than the main area.”
“Come on then!”
**************************************************
The cool air outside the store room was almost like a
slap in the face for Celia and increased the dizziness that the drug in her
beer had caused, making it hard to move in a straight line. Once she fell, only
the adrenaline got her up again.
She realized that the storeroom she’d been in was
somewhat away from the central area of the Wiesn and there was a stretch of
ground she had to cover before she could merge with the crowds. Even then, she
didn’t dare stop and ask just anybody for help. Morpheus would not necessarily
hold back from completing his task, just because there were people around him. She
needed the police, but they were mostly by the exits and entrances.
**************************************************
Morpheus was angry. Fooled into talking about himself
and then being caught off-guard in that way! By a woman! It was another example
of how he was falling to pieces. The drugs he took to dull the constant pain from
the cancerous clusters nesting in his chest were slowing him down mentally and
physically. Ah well, not much longer, but before he went he was going to get
this job done. He always did his job. He set off after Celia as she ran towards
the crowds.
****************************************************
Franz swore. The path towards the Big Wheel was
blocked by people waiting to see the different brewery wagons pulled by enormous
cart horses go down the main thoroughfare.
“’schuldigen …
‘schuldigen … muss durch … muss durch!”
Max pushed his way through, pulling his father after
him to the front of the crowd where their path was blocked by barriers.
“Please, let us across,” begged Max to a nearby policeman
walking down the line. “We’re looking for my mother!”
“You’ll have to wait, sonny. Won’t be long.”
**************************************************
The crowds were much denser now and Celia had to push
and barge her way forwards. People swore at her and pushed back, but she was
beyond caring. Looking over her shoulder
from time to time she could see Morpheus’s pale face bobbing along behind her,
gradually gaining ground.
*****************************************************
There she was again! He thought he’d lost her but then
Morpheus caught sight of her pink dirndl again, slightly to his right. He
followed doggedly after, ignoring the pain which had changed to sharp stabs in
his lungs, making each breath feel as if he were breathing in glass needles.
*****************************************************
The crowds clapped and cheered as the first wagon
trundled by, the huge horses tossing their heads and snorting so that their decorations
clinked and their ribbons shook. In the crowds on the other side, Franz
gradually became aware of some sort of commotion, with people shouting at
somebody as if a fight was taking place. And then he saw Celia ploughing forward,
red in the face, hair disheveled and eyes desperate. He clambered over his
barrier, ran to her side, grabbed her arms and started pulling her over towards
him.
“Hey,
was macht ihr da?”
a policeman further up the line shouted.
“Morfeus is behind me, he’s got a gun, he’s got a gun!”
Celia gabbled. She toppled over the barrier on top of Franz and they fell to
the ground. He jumped up pulling her with him, but she could only cling to his neck
as her legs gave way beneath her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and
started dragging her towards the other side, aware of police moving towards
them but also of another wagon approaching.
******************************************************
Morpheus made it over the barrier with nearly his last
strength. There they were, the two people who’d managed to destroy his friendship
with Ivan Kaiec, the only thing he had left in his life. He felt a rush of hate
so powerful it drove everything else aside. He raised his gun with a wavering
hand and squeezed the trigger at the exact moment they tripped over each other’s
feet and collapsed to the ground again. He thought for a moment he must have
hit one of them because there was a terrible scream of pain, then realized it
must have been something else, it was too loud. He moved forward to finish the
job, just as Celia and Franz started rolling towards the side. His focus was so
complete he never registered the panicked horses bolting towards him, blood from
his bullet streaming down one animal’s flank. He was knocked over and his chest
and skull crushed by iron hooves as the frantic coachman tried helplessly to get
them under control again.
******************************************************
The police, almost as terrified as the horses, dragged
Celia and Franz to their feet and started shouting. Both of them were
incoherent with shock, the wagon wheels had so nearly crushed them too. It was only Max who was able to explain to
the police what had been happening.
“The airport, Max!” said Celia eventually. “Fisk has
got all the material, they mustn’t let him get away!” Then she felt dizzy again
and collapsed for the last time that day.
Nov 6, 2015
Chapter 36 - Finding Celia
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Oide Wies'n |
The story so far ... Celia meets up with Jeremy Fisk at the Oktoberfest and shows him the material she and Franz have collected concerning Ned's investigations into the British government's involvement in arms smuggling to Croatia during the independence war in '94-95. Jeremy tells her he has somebody who will publish her claims and they arrange to go to meet him. As Celia stands up she feels very dizzy and confused and Jeremy is able to take her with no resistance to a small storeroom where they are joined by Morpheus Herman. But what is Jeremy's connection with Morpheus?
Chapter 36 – Finding Celia
It was Max who guessed that Celia had gone to the
Oktoberfest.
‘I saw her from the window heading towards the
underground,’ he said. ‘She had a dirndl on. Where else would she be going?’
‘It seems an odd place for a meeting,’ said Franz. ‘So
many people and so noisy.’
‘Yes, and that makes it difficult for anyone to find
her. Phone her immediately! Maybe they haven’t met up yet and we’ve got time to
warn her,’ said Tante Ilse.
Franz rang, but Celia ignored his call and by the time
Max tried with his phone she’d turned hers off completely.
‘Call the police,’ said Timothy. ‘It’s our only
chance.’
They weren’t particularly helpful. With the
Oktoberfest on and a football match scheduled for that evening their resources
were overstretched and Franz was hampered by not being to explain properly why
Celia should not be meeting Jeremy.
‘They just think I’m a jealous husband whose wife’s
having an affair. I’m going down there to look for her myself. You lot wait
here and warn her if she calls back.’
Max insisted on going too, so they left Timothy in one
flat and Tante Ilse went back to hers.
‘Bring Celia back safely,’ she said to Franz, gripping
his arm as he bent to kiss her goodbye. ‘I love her so much!’
Franz nodded, his eyes suddenly stinging, and left.
*****************************************************
‘If you could see the look on your face!’ said Jeremy.
‘Priceless!’ He drew up a chair the other side of the desk from Celia while
Morpheus remained standing behind him.
‘What’s … what’s going on? Why is he here?’ asked
Celia. The smelling salts Jeremy had given her had helped to clear her head,
partially at least.
‘Ah, Morpheus is a good friend of mine. We’ve been
working together on and off for many years. First of all with the Colonel and
then - when he started getting all idealistic about how he wanted to fund his
adventures in politics - without him!’
‘But Ned …’
‘Ah, dear old Ned. He was much too interested in the
arms deals that I was organizing for the Colonel during the war.”
“That was you?” asked Celia. “Not … not Timothy Arnold?”
“That was you?” asked Celia. “Not … not Timothy Arnold?”
Jeremy laughed. “What? That fussy old woman? No, no,
it was me. And your brother was starting to be a real nuisance with his
questions. Very unpatriotic of him. I had the unofficial blessing of the
British government itself! Or at least the Department for British Export
Development.’
‘Did you kill Ned?’
‘No, but we might have had to if it hadn’t been for
that Croatian tank shell landing in the right place at the right time. Just
extremely good luck – for me at any rate!’
‘But …but why did you believe me when I said I’d seen
him?’
Jeremy shrugged his shoulders. ‘Best way to know what
you were up to. And there was always the remote possibility that you were
right. There were just bits and pieces of body in the building after the shell
hit it. I could see you weren’t going to give up looking for him and if we kept
an eye on you then maybe you’d lead us to Ned. But that’s not going to happen
now.’
‘What do you want though? What are you trying to
achieve? I don’t understand.’
Jeremy waved the bundle of material Celia had brought
with her.
‘Well, first of all this stuff. I have no intention of
being prosecuted for helping the British government break UN embargoes. And
then secondly, Morpheus here is very unhappy at the damage you and your husband
have caused to his business operations.’
‘The prostitution rings?’
‘Exactly. Though you don’t need to sound so
judgemental. Very bourgeois of you. By
destroying his relationship with the Colonel you’ve lost him his friend and protector,
the only one he had left after his family was wiped out. And as perhaps you’ve
heard, Morpheus believes in revenge.’
‘Have you poisoned me, is that why I feel so ill?’
said Celia, her voice shaking.
‘No poison, just a little drug in your beer to make
you cooperative. A pity, if you’d only just given everything to that sleazy
boyfriend of yours, Tomislav Lederer, none of this would have been necessary.’
Celia felt dizzy again, and again Jeremy put the small
bottle under her nose.
‘You know about Tomi?’ she asked finally.
‘Of course! Tomi approached Morpheus a short time ago,
wanting to sell him Ivana’s information which he believed he could get from you,
thanks to those most artistic photographs that he took of you two. Morpheus
told me and we hatched this little blackmail plan for Tomi to try to get hold
of everything without anybody getting hurt. But then you spoilt it by being all
noble and refusing to hand it over. Very foolish of you! It’s going to lead to two
deaths.’
‘Deaths?’
‘Morpheus will explain. It was his idea.’
‘One is already happen,’ said Morpheus. ‘Sometime soon
police find Lederer’s body near Ostbahnhof . With nice photos. Two will be you,
also with nice photos. Look like you murder him, then suicide with same gun.”
“The shame you see, Celia. You couldn’t live with
yourself,” added Jeremy.
“But … but the police will know you’re involved. I
told Franz I was meeting you!”
“And I shall tell them all about it! You rang and said you had a story from my good old friend Ned about UN embargo busting. Because I’m so good-hearted, I agreed to try and help Ned’s poor little sister. I came to see you, found you had nothing and left again, very annoyed at how you had wasted my time.”
“And I shall tell them all about it! You rang and said you had a story from my good old friend Ned about UN embargo busting. Because I’m so good-hearted, I agreed to try and help Ned’s poor little sister. I came to see you, found you had nothing and left again, very annoyed at how you had wasted my time.”
He looked at his watch. “Speaking of which, Morpheus,
I need to leave now if I’m going to get my plane. Give me about an hour’s start
before you kill her, there’s a good chap,” he turned back to Celia. “Perhaps I’ll
hear about this on the news tomorrow night back in London, eh?”
He got up from the chair and patted Morpheus on the
back. “I’ll be in touch again soon. I think we can use this material against
our good friend the Colonel in due course.” He opened the door and looked at Celia again. “Sorry
about this Celia. It’s nothing personal with me, just business. Morpheus on the
other hand … I think it’s very personal!” Then he left.
Morpheus pulled out a gun from his pocket and sat down
in Jeremy’s chair. His Grand Inquisitor’s face had developed dark rings under
the eyes since the last time she’d seen him and they made him look pitiless. Celia
shrank back in the chair behind the desk, her heart beating faster than she’d
have thought possible, tears starting to trickle down her face.
“Maybe you pray. We have time. Nobody come here until
much later. Pray!”
Celia fell to her knees and put her elbows on the desk
and started to pray like never before. At first just random words, but then she
began to whisper all the prayers she could remember one after another, over and
over again, like a chant. The repetition gradually calmed her down and she
started to think. She had to try to make a connection to her captor.
“I know what happened in the war to your parents and
your wife,” she said eventually, her hands still clasped in front of her and her
elbows on the edge of the desk. “It was very terrible!”
Morpheus said nothing. He kept his eyes down and the gun
steadily pointing at her. After a moment, Celia carried on.
“What kept you going? How did you manage to survive
that?” At first she didn’t think he’d respond, but then he spoke.
“Anger. Hate. Revenge. Very powerful emotions. Makes many
things possible,” he said.
Celia was silent, thinking what to say next.
“But … but those emotions eat you up inside if you can
never let go of them,” she said. “They can make you ill, give … give you cancer
…
As she spoke she saw his eyes flicker up to her face with
a look of surprise in them. Then she realized.
“Oh …it’s happened to you, hasn’t it? You have a
cancer, don’t you?” she asked. Again
there was a moment’s silence.
“That’s what doctor say.”
“So it’s serious then?”
Morpheus nodded. “Nothing can be done anymore, but …” he
shrugged his shoulders. “… we all die some time.”
“How much time do the doctors say you have?”
“Longer than you. I think you should …”
Celia never heard what he thought because at that
moment something crashed against the wall of the store room and she heard the
sound of German voices arguing outside.
“Ich hab’ doch
gesagt, wir mĂĽssen die …”
Surprised, Morpheus half-turned in his chair to see
what was happening behind him. Celia seized the chance and with all her
strength tipped the desk up and over so it toppled onto Morpheus and knocked the
gun out of his hand. She leapt for the door, wrenched it open and was outside and
running before he could stop her.
Apr 19, 2015
Chapter 35 – Meeting at the Oktoberfest
I've always had mixed feelings about the Oktoberfest. Travelling around Munich during the season can be horrible, with too many drunks, too much noise and the constant necessity to step around piles of vomit.
Yet when you're actually there it's very hard to resist the atmosphere. There are so many people having fun and this is infectious.
In these last chapters I want to try to convey these mixed feelings I have and I also think the Oktoberfest can provide an exciting setting for the finale. I hope you agree!
The story so far ... Franz had an unexpected visit from Timothy Arnold, looking for Celia. He's heard that she plans to give the information she's collected about the arms smuggling tolerated by the British government into Croatia during the civil war in the 90's. He warns Franz that under no circumstances should she give this material to Jeremy Fisk, the very person she has just gone to meet.
Yet when you're actually there it's very hard to resist the atmosphere. There are so many people having fun and this is infectious.
In these last chapters I want to try to convey these mixed feelings I have and I also think the Oktoberfest can provide an exciting setting for the finale. I hope you agree!
The story so far ... Franz had an unexpected visit from Timothy Arnold, looking for Celia. He's heard that she plans to give the information she's collected about the arms smuggling tolerated by the British government into Croatia during the civil war in the 90's. He warns Franz that under no circumstances should she give this material to Jeremy Fisk, the very person she has just gone to meet.
Chapter 35 – Meeting at the Oktoberfest
The late September sun was shining out of a blue sky as
Celia hurried through the crowds towards the entrance of the Oktoberfest and
her meeting with Jeremy. Although it was only midday it was already busy and
she couldn’t go as quickly as she wanted.
‘Don’t stand out,’ Jeremy had warned her. ‘Make sure
you’re not followed. Dress and move inconspicuously.’
Celia forced herself to slow down and by the time she
reached their agreed meeting point outside the Löwenbrau tent she was calm
again.
‘You can’t miss it,’ she’d explained to him. ‘There’s
an enormous model of a lion above the entrance, holding a mug of beer which
moves up and down. And the lion roars from time to time.’
Jeremy wasn’t
there yet, so Celia stood slightly to one side and waited for him, sniffing the
Oktoberfest scents in the air. The smell of sugared almonds being roasted dominated,
with the occasional whiff of charcoaled fish providing a contrast. From time to
time she caught a touch of cinnamon from the large spicy biscuits, decorated
with kitsch sentiments written in faux Bavarian that hung around many people’s
necks, while underlying everything was the stale, sour reek of beer, spilt over
the previous days. There were groups of middle-aged, camera-clicking Japanese
and American tourists being led around while the atmosphere was still
relatively sober and their anxious guides had a reasonable chance of getting
them something to eat and drink and out again before losing somebody. That was
nearly impossible to do in the evening when the atmosphere became rowdier.
Somebody tapped her on the shoulder making her jump.
It was Jeremy.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to frighten you. I’ve
got us a table inside the tent. We might as well make ourselves comfortable and
have something to eat and drink, don’t you think?’
He was much more relaxed than he’d been on the phone
the previous evening and insisted that Celia drink with him although she didn’t
much feel like anything.
‘We need to look very ordinary,’ he said after he’d also
ordered food for them. ‘My contact has agreed to meet us here if I say it’s
worth his while. Now, have some of this delicious beer … that’s it … cheers! And
tell me again about everything you’ve found.’
Celia went over it once more, adding the information
about Tomi’s visit, but leaving out his blackmail attempt and her subsequent
row with Franz.
‘So, you just told him that you hadn’t received
anything from Ivana, is that right?’
‘Yes. He was suspicious, but there was nothing he
could do to prove we had got something.’
‘Very good. Now, Celia, my contact will ensure
worldwide publicity for this story, but in return he wants exclusivity. Where
is all the material? In your bag there?’
‘Yes,’ said Celia. ‘Everything’s here, including our
print outs, Ivana’s memory disk and Bernard’s CD.’
She showed him a couple of the photos including the
incriminating address and the fake inventory lists for school equipment signed
by the Colonel.
She’d just finished putting everything back when her
mobile phone rang. She looked at the display, it was Franz. Well, he could
wait. She turned it off completely. That would teach him.
‘I see. Did you make any copies to your computers?’
asked Jeremy. ‘I’m sorry to be a bore about this but my contact is insisting on
absolute exclusivity for this story. He told me that if I had even the
slightest concerns that you’d kept some of the material, then he wasn’t
interested. I have to protect my reputation, you see.’
‘This is really everything. We decided not to risk
making copies. The CD and the disk were easy to hide but the computer wasn’t. I
told you our flat was already broken into once.’
‘Smart thinking. I can see you’ve got a talent for
this kind of thing. Now, I’m just going outside the tent for moment to make a
phone call. I think we should go ahead, but let’s see if my contact agrees.
Excuse me a moment…’
He got up, leaving Celia alone at the table. The
tent’s brass band began playing the first set of the day and as she listened to
the sentimental trashy music she felt the Oktoberfest charm start its work. The
place was noisy, vulgar, over priced and full of drunks but somehow she nearly
always enjoyed going there. She began to relax and drank some more.
Jeremy reappeared, carrying a giant pretzel for them
both.
‘It’s on!’ he yelled at her above the brass band. ‘He
said he needs about an hour to get here, which gives us time to enjoy ourselves
a bit. I think we should drink a toast. To Ned and his sister: the two best
journalists I’ve ever worked with!’
Their food arrived shortly afterwards. Jeremy asked if
Celia would fetch him some mustard and then attacked his pork knuckle while keeping
up a flow of conversation and joining in enthusiastically with the frequent
toasting required by the brass band. Celia felt relaxed for the first time in a
long while. It was good to be freed from the burden of knowing what to do about
Ned and Ivana’s material. Somebody else’s problem. She had enough other ones still
to deal with, it would be nice to be able to go to sleep and wake up with them
all solved.
‘Are you alright, Celia?’ Jeremy’s voice penetrated
her thoughts. ‘You look very sleepy suddenly.’
Celia shook herself.
‘Sorry, I don’t think I’d better drink any more beer.
It makes me tired. Where will we meet this person? We can’t talk here!’
Jeremy looked at his phone.
‘He’s just sent me a message. He’s arranged somewhere
quiet for us nearby. Come on!’
As Celia stood up she felt the ground beneath her feet
tilt and would have fallen if Jeremy hadn’t caught her elbow. He grinned.
‘Powerful stuff that beer, eh? Never mind, let me help…’
and he steered her out of the tent into the crowds.
‘Don’t understand … didn’t drink much,’ she mumbled, swaying
from side-to-side. She saw people looking at her and a group of teenage girls
began giggling.
‘Come along my dear. This way …’ Jeremy put his arm
around her waist and half carried her along with him. Celia tried to work out
what was happening but it was as if her brain had filled with treacle and she
couldn’t string two thoughts together, while around her the world span out of
control.
A door appeared in front of them. Jeremy opened it and
pulled her inside, then sat her on a chair in front of a desk. Celia looked
blearily round the tiny room, lined with files. She knew she was still at the
Oktoberfest because outside she could hear the noise of the funfair and screams
from people on the different rides. This must be some sort of office belonging
to one of the tents. The desk suddenly rose up and hit her in the face.
‘Here, sniff this!’ ordered Jeremy, thrusting a small
bottle under her nose. The liquid inside had a sharp, smell that stung her nose
but cleared her head and allowed her to sit up again and stay upright if she
held onto the arms of the chair.
‘What … what’s happening? I think I’m ill. You’ve got
to take me to the doctor,’ she said, trying to stand up. Jeremy pushed her back
into her seat.
‘You don’t want to go anywhere, Celia. And anyway,
you’re supposed to be meeting my contact aren’t you?’ There was a knock at the door.
‘Ah, that must be him now. Please don’t feel you have
to get up!’
He opened the door and Morfeus Herman walked into the
room.
Apr 10, 2015
Apr 2, 2015
Chapter 34 - False friends
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False friends |
One problem was I found it very difficult to know how much to include of the inevitable argument that ensued after Franz told Celia he wants a divorce because of her fling with Tomi. A row in these circumstances is inevitable but just not very interesting to write about, so I tinkered around for ages trying to imagine how both parties would react and behave.
I think Celia is essentially a very pragmatic person. For her, sleeping with Tomi was just something she wanted to do at the time because she liked him, they had the opportunity and she was fed up with being ignored by Franz. It had a physical, but no emotional significance.
Franz is however tortured by the thought of the physical side, in particular because he knows that he bears some of the responsibility for it due to his treatment of Celia, prior to the trip to Venice (Chapter 21 - Death on the Rialto).
My theory is that the physical side is a much bigger deal for men than women. Men aren't so bothered with the idea of their partner loving somebody else, as long as the other person doesn't sleep with their partner. Women don't like their partner sleeping with somebody else either, but as long as they feel they are the only one that is truly loved they are able to deal with it better.
Not that I have the courage to test this idea any time soon.
The story so far: Tomi Lederer has attempted to blackmail Celia into giving him the information sent to her by Ivana Kaiec concerning arms smuggling into Croatia during the Yugoslavian civil war. Celia refuses and in revenge Tomi tells Franz of the night they spent together in a hotel. Franz throws Tomi out of their flat and at Celia's request doesn't look at a blackmail photo that Tomi dropped. However, he then tells her he wants a divorce ...
Chapter 34 – False friends can be found on the right under 'Good Stuff'.
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